


Discovering

by The Mighty Porthos (Porthos4ever)



Category: Dark City (1998)
Genre: Aftermath of Amnesia, Amnesia, Eventual Smut, M/M, Memories, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Tattoos, convenient use of super powers for better sex, frank bumstead/officer husselbeck - Freeform, jfc how is this so long and disgusting, making out in dark alleys, or at least slow by my standards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:35:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22328689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Porthos4ever/pseuds/The%20Mighty%20Porthos
Summary: The future in the aftermath of the Strangers, John discovers, is less predictable than he could have imagined. And underneath his prim suits, Doctor Schreber is not what he anticipated.(From the prompt: Imagine Dr. Schreber having Kiefer's tattoos. Imagine John discovering them.)
Relationships: John Murdoch/Daniel Schreber
Comments: 14
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I neither endorse nor condemn the obtaining of tattoos in a language that isn't your own. Just make careful, safe and fully informed decisions when putting permanent things on your body. :)

In the six months that he'd been John Murdoch, and the three months that he'd been Daniel Schreber's - partner? Beau? Boyfriend seemed the wrong title for it - in the three months that he and Daniel had been more than just acquaintances and co-conspirators in the matter of the city, John was somewhat rueful to admit that he had yet to see his lover completely naked.

It wasn't due to a lack of desire or effort, of course. Purely a lack of opportunity. There'd been so much to do in the aftermath of the Stranger's demise, to keep their city, their fragmented society, from descending into anarchy. Without the constant changing of identities, it became quickly and glaringly obvious to the inhabitants that something was wrong with their world, with trains that didn't stop at the right stations, with a city hall inhabited by no local officials.

And then there was Frank Bumstead. Alive, miraculously, found in critical condition among dozens of corpses that even the most clueless human could see as _alien_ in the light of day. Surprisingly, it had bought John and Daniel badly needed time, two weeks of the city standing vigil in the hope that this highly decorated police officer would wake up with the answers no-one else had. Two weeks for John and Daniel to quietly correct the most urgent wrongs, to alter and create essential personalities, essential knowledge for keeping the city running.

That hadn't been a decision taken lightly. Looking back, John thought that perhaps it was the start of their closeness, weighing the morality of such a thing. Because despite all the reasons to do it - the good of their society, the essential need for survival, the fact that there were people, like John himself, who deserved far more than the terrible lot the Strangers had cursed them with - what had made up their minds in the end was the simple fact that this burden would always be, of necessity, shared. Only Daniel's knowledge could create a new personality. Only John's abilities could allow it to be imprinted. They would always be each other's essential check and balance. Changing another human, changing the way their city behaved or thought could only happen if they were united.

Quietly inserting Daniel into society as Bumstead's psychiatrist was an easy decision. A way to keep abreast of things, to influence things without showing their hand. That John's abilities needed to remain secret was an immediate decision. They could find an official place in the world for him later, once things were more under control. Daniel could watch over Bumstead, and John would remain free to move about the city, discovering the gaps in not just society but the physical city itself, the things they would need to change and maintain to move forward.

He wasn't sure at what point consulting Daniel on any change became his go to response. Perhaps it was a result of his final imprinted memories, a lifetime learning to Tune under his instruction. Perhaps it was just the necessity of needing a confidante in the one person qualified to truly understand what he'd been through. But part of him had begun to trust Daniel even before his last imprinted memories, and working together had only deepened that trust. By the time Bumstead awoke and healed and was brought into their trust, John was already thinking of Daniel as _partner_ , so deeply automatic that additional co-conspirators would never change that.

~~~

It took three months after the Strangers' elimination for his relationship with Daniel to evolve. Three months of helping Bumstead help the city discover carefully planned answers close enough to the truth to not be discovered in a lie, of helping him adjust to being thrust into a badly needed position of leadership in the city. The city had planned an election for Mayor, of course; despite it going unspoken that the public would have confidence in no-one but Bumstead to take that position, there were other positions to be identified and filled, and an election proved the best vehicle. Bumstead asking his psychiatrist to join his advisory team was not unusual when the same thing was happening all over the city, people discovering new ties and relationships, discovering how to work together in the aftermath of the alien control they had all woken up from. John, in turn, became just another civilian consultant, no different from Bumstead's former assistant at the bureau, a young officer named Husselbeck who had, after careful measuring and observation, become their fourth co-conspirator. The work done in those three months had made the time seem like a year, and though John still felt like there was barely time to sleep and breathe, let alone think about anything beyond the welfare of the city.

Then, on the night of the election, Bumstead had suddenly left their workroom table, crossing the office to the door and decisively turning off every bank of lights apart from the one above him.

"I'm enforcing a break," he said in response to their shocked silence. "Polls are closed, results will take time to be tabulated, we can respond to that in the morning. I need a night off and so do you. I'm taking Husselbeck out to eat somewhere that isn't this office. You two should do the same."

Food had been, for months, take-out boxes half absently created whenever someone had thought to remind John of their communal need to eat. Going somewhere for dinner was an idea almost as alien for the Strangers. Stranger still was Bumstead's declaration towards his assistant, who, as John turned to look at him, had flushed dark enough that it was visible even in the low light.

Leon looked to them, then back to Frank. "Just me, sir?"

At the door, Frank's demeanor had softened visibly. "If you'd like."

Out of the corner of his eye, John saw Daniel's mouth stretch into a knowing smile. "Like a date?"

At that even Frank looked flustered, but his attention didn't leave Leon, his voice softer after he cleared his throat. "If you'd like."

Leon's answer was evident in the speed with which he was out of his chair and across the office, and then they were gone.

For a long moment after their swift departure John wasn't quite sure what to say. It wasn't that the burgeoning romance shocked him; despite never having the opportunity to consider the possibility of love between two men, it didn't seem any more shocking than the many things he'd discovered since waking up in that hotel bathroom as a blank slate. It was more puzzling that he hadn't thought to look for the signs of it. Finally he turned his chair to face Daniel directly. "... did you know about that?"

"I thought it might be forthcoming," Daniel replied after a moment, always careful with his words. He kept his gaze focused towards the door. "He was the only one Frank sought out, specifically after he awoke. The only one he felt strongly about bringing into this. After that, and spending so much time together... it was easy to see when that trust, and closeness, began to turn into more."

His voice was calm, conversational, but after so much time together there was something in his words, in the way that he hadn't met his gaze, that set John to wondering. That he and Daniel had become close and established the deepest trust went without saying. As to more than that...? John pondered his own feelings. He had long found the doctor's company delightful, and thought that their work would have been impossible to survive had it not been so. And the Daniel he had come to know over the past few months, in his prim three piece suits and free of the Stranger's control, was very easy on the eyes despite the strange scarring at his eye or his shy mannerisms.

Perhaps, in part, because of them.

When he'd thought he wanted to be with Emma it had been a logical deduction, part of John's desperate attempts to discover his identity with the few clues that had been left to him. But Daniel....

They could take the night off, tonight. There had been less and less need to go underneath the city at night, less need to adjust society as Frank's work with the city progressed. They should take the opportunity for badly needed rest, he knew. But now that the idea had occurred to him, he needed to know....

"Would you like to go for dinner with me?" he asked, and felt something warm bloom inside him at the way Daniel smiled as he turned to look at him.

"Like a date?" he asked softly, and the warmth inside John grew so poignant that his answer was without hesitation.

"If you'd like."

~~~

They hadn't gotten far that night, not much past shy smiles and soft, eager flirtations over dinner and a bottle of wine. The city, still nocturnal, provided many nearby options for dining, but despite John wanting nothing more than to spend hours with Daniel exploring this newfound _moreness_ , the reality remained that they still had too many responsibilities and not enough sleep. Still, he couldn't resist the impulse to press close to him as they left the restaurant, keeping a hand on the small of Daniel's back and revelling in the warmth he felt at being close to him. And then he couldn't stop himself from tugging Daniel into the darkened alcove of a shop entryway and crowding him back against the glass door, torn between wanting and the propriety of realizing, as Daniel looked up at him with nervous anticipation, that he didn't quite know where to start.

He let his free hand cup Daniel's cheek, stroking the skin and feeling his friend tremble under his touch. "You want this, don't you?" he whispered, and felt Daniel swallow, giving the barest nod.

"Yes," he breathed, but his response was as careful as always. "It's only... this is very new to me, John. I wasn't ever permitted, of course. This, or anything, with anyone. So as much as I've tried to consider my missing past, I never considered the possibilities of what this would be like."

It made John feel a rush of anxiousness. "It doesn't have to be me," he said quickly, even though his stomach dropped to his toes at the idea.

Daniel smiled, though, leaning into his palm. "That I am certain of. If you are, John."

"I'm very certain that I want to kiss you right now," John replied, then worried, belatedly, that he'd asked for too much. "If it's alright with you, of course. Anything else... we can take our time, right?"

"Yes." And then Daniel was pressing closer, wrapping his arms up around his neck, his lips trembling but eager as they found John's. It set free a flood of desire in him, and John responded with a low groan, discovering quickly that his lips _knew_ this, despite any shortcomings in his own memories. He knew this, and yet it felt like the first time he'd truly experienced the sweetness of a kiss, more vivid and real than anything he could have recalled from implanted memories or tried to imagine. He tightened his arm around Daniel's waist, drawing him closer, and when Daniel's lips parted against his in a gasp of pleasure John took the invitation to taste him, losing himself in the sweetness of his mouth, warm and wine-sweet.

Part of him never wanted it to end, longed to spend hours discovering all the ways he could pull such sweet gasps of pleasure from Daniels lips. But he'd promised Daniel time, and the logical part of his mind knew that this was too precious to rush. Still, he indulged in the pleasure of his kisses until they were both breathless, until he felt dizzy with want and had to force himself to break away just to breathe, forehead pressed to Daniel's.

Daniel's fingers stroked up the back of his neck, lightly twisting in his curls. "I like this very much," he murmured softly. "Can we talk more tomorrow?"

John felt a surge of adoration and desire at the thought, and realized that these emotions about Daniel weren't particularly new, just hitherto unnamed. He drew back enough to look at him, smiling, wishing he could somehow put it all into words. He was exquisite, pupils wide in the darkness behind the prim, wire-rimmed glasses that were smudged from their kisses. John cleaned them with a thought. "Talk, or kiss?"

Even in the shadows of the streetlights, John could see Daniel's cheeks flush dark. "Perhaps both?"

Impulsively, John Tuned a long-stem red rose, pressing it into his fingers. "I promise."

~~~

Continuing to move the city forward in the aftermath of civic elections proved no less work intensive. But to John it seemed to make finding time together all the more sweet, even when it was just a few stolen moments in an elevator he'd stopped between floors, or a kiss pressed to Daniel's fingers when no-one was looking. Just being with him was elating, even in work, and finding a way to end each day with kisses was delightful as much for their sweetness as for the promise, eventually, of more. For all the work they'd focused on doing for the city, it felt like, for the first time, this was something John was doing soley for them, and that was far more rewarding than he ever could have imagined.

"If you'd like to visit my hotel room sometime, we could, um, visit," he offered awkwardly one day in the elevator, because after stealing a kiss from those delectable lips it was becoming increasingly hard not to think about things like pinning Daniel under him, naked on crisp hotel sheets. He hoped it was the most appropriate way to extend the invitation, in the middle of the day when there would be no expectation to immediately act on it. The hotel he'd taken up in when he'd returned to the city wasn't particularly close to city hall or Daniel's apartment, but in the absence of coming up with a better place to stay it had grown familiar enough. It was hard not to want Daniel there with him.

Daniel's cheeks darkened in a way that John had learned meant that he was very pleased with the idea. "I would like that sometime," he'd replied carefully, then leaned up to press a brief peck to his mouth before the elevator doors opened, smiling. "I'll keep it in mind."

Having the evenings together had been made easier by Frank becoming stalwartly committed to Leon, insisting on shutting down the Office of the Mayor at a reasonable time for his small but growing staff. It meant that on nights when they didn't need to go under the city they could go for dinner, and occasionally a movie, where John could indulge in a full two hours of being able to keep an arm around Daniel in the back of a darkened theater, cuddling close to him, pressing the occasional, indulgent kiss to his hair. And there was always a conveniently unlocked box office afterwards or quiet alcove outside a restaurant where he could lose himself, just for a short time, to the pleasure of Daniel's mouth, each kiss a silent promise for the future.

"The stairwell of this apartment building is empty," he murmured in Daniel's ear one night after leaving a restaurant, limbs warm from the wine and perhaps feeling a bit more courageous than normal. A darkened stairwell where he could indulge in kisses as long as they liked....

Daniel, smiling up at him, seemed to ponder the invitation for a moment. Then the tip of his tongue darted out to moisten rosebud lips, brief but tantalizing. "Or the top floor of this apartment building is unused."

John stretched out his awareness immediately, feeling his pulse race at the suggestion. It was indeed unused, the space nothing but bare concrete and windows like many areas in the city that had never been needed by the Stranger's experiments. He cleared his throat. "Do you want to, um..."

"I would like to go up there with you," Daniel replied, his words direct but delightfully shy, and his fingers twined with John's, pulling him up the steps into the building.

He should make the area more comfortable than unfinished concrete, John thought immediately, his awareness still half in the space as Daniel pulled him into the elevator. Perhaps like a hotel room? Or would that be presuming too much? Surely if Daniel wanted to go to bed together they could have gone back to his hotel. But a place to sit would be acceptable, he thought, starting to tune a comfortable chesterfield into existence as Daniel pulled him close.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered, and John turned his full attention back to the man in his arms.

He smiled, indulging in a kiss, and then a longer one, letting his hands stroke over the small of Daniel's back to cup the delectable roundness of his ass, which he'd quickly learned Daniel liked very much. "I'm thinking that I really, really like your idea," he breathed, regretting that he had to pull away when the elevator reached its destination.

"What a convenient sofa." Daniel's voice, though teasing, was unmistakably appreciative as the elevator doors opened, the light illuminating it in the space.

"I didn't want you to be uncomfortable," John replied, as innocent as he could manage.

Daniel laughed softly, drawing him out towards it. "But no lights."

He hadn't considered a lamp. John glanced towards the tall, arched windows to the outside. "I could make one. Will the neighbours see in?"

Daniel chuckled softly again, but stopped, turning into him and catching both his hands. In what little light came in through the windows John could see his expression turn serious, eyes holding his. "John... do you think life will become normal to us? That we'll ever get the city settled?"

"God, I hope so," John replied, suddenly overwhelmed by the thought of this level of work stretching out forever. "It has to, right?"

Slowly, Daniel nodded. "What do you want that to look like, for you?"

John paused, considering it. While once he'd been driven to return to - then recreate - his childhood home, he hadn't thought much about his own future since returning to the city. "Um. A house, I suppose. Something here, or in Shell Beach, I can make a home for us wherever you're most comfortable. Maybe... a cat?" He looked to Daniel, suddenly feeling anxious. "Is that what you want?"

Whatever Daniel had been looking for, he seemed pleased, smiling, lifting a hand to stroke his cheek. "Yes," he said quietly. "If you're certain you want it to be with me, John. There are many possibilities for you to - "

John cut him off with a kiss before he could say more, slightly alarmed that he would think otherwise. "Of course I want it to be with you. Who else could I ever want to be with?"

Daniel drew back before he could kiss him again. "John - your memories...."

"Aren't the reason I'm here," he replied immediately. "I know what you're thinking. I've thought about it a lot. But they're not why I came back to the city. They're not why I stayed, they're not why - they're not the reason I love you. That's because of us, because of the time we've spent together, because of - "

"You love me?" The words, soft and small, were hopeful, and John found himself smiling, smiling and smiling as he pulled Daniel into another kiss.

"Of course I love you," he breathed, and it felt so good to say it that he said it again. "I'm madly in love with you."

Daniel gave a soft, choked noise against his lips, but kissed him again, trembling, arching close as his arms tightened around John's neck. "I'd like a cat," he whispered, finally. "And a home. And you."

The chesterfield had been a very good idea, John thought when Daniel drew him down onto it. Just wide enough to stretch out beside him, pinning Daniel into the back cushions and losing himself to the pleasure of laying with him. Daniel's touch was restless and eager as they kissed, stroking under his jacket and over his chest, and John took invitation to do the same without hesitation. He let his fingers explore under Daniel's coat and over the silk backing of his vest, then down again to cup that delectable rump, taking advantage of the private space to express his appreciation for the pleasure of touching him in a low groan against Daniel's lips.

Daniel squirmed against him with a soft, needy noise, tangling their legs together. The press of his body was exquisite, and John couldn't help but encourage it, quickly growing hard as his fingers tightened on Daniel's ass, encouraging him to move. Daniel was as hard as he was, he quickly realized, and adjusted his own erection, rocking with him, into the pleasure of his body. "God, Daniel..."

Daniel's teeth sunk into John's bottom lip with a whimper, hips stuttering against him. "God, I want - "

"Anything you want," John promised fervently, rubbing a hand over his hip, stroking his flanks. It was hard not to imagine what his bare skin would feel like under his fingers, his lips. "May I undress you?"

His lover didn't answer for a moment, but his fingers stroked restlessly under John's jacket, over his chest and side. For a moment they tugged at the buttons of his shirt, getting the top two undone. Then Daniel gave an unmistakably needy noise, moving boldy to press a hand between them, cupping John's erection through his slacks. "I feel nearly mad with wanting you," he said, voice rough in a way that made John's cock pulse with want. "Will you show me how to touch you?"

"Oh fuck," John heard himself gasp, coherence momentarily deserting him along with all thought of taking the time to get Daniel naked. He kissed him harder, shifting to yank at the closure of his own slacks until he could free himself, wrapping Daniel's fingers around his cock. A small corner of his mind told him that he ought to have more finesse, but he'd been too long wanting to listen to it. Too long craving this, too many nights putting himself to sleep imagining Daniel while he stroked himself. "Like this," he panted, pushing against his palm, then letting go of his fingers to tug at the closure of Daniel's slacks, because hell if he wasn't going to take the opportunity to touch him, too.

It felt somehow far different than touching himself when he finally curled his fingers around Daniel's cock, reveling in the girth of it against his palm, velvet skin moving over the hardness underneath as he gave him a slow stroke from root to tip. Even better was the little mewling desperate noise it pulled from Daniel's lips, his hips stuttering up into John's. The head of his cock was damp with arousal when John ran his thumb over it, and he groaned at the feel of it, rubbing the slickness over the flared head, teasing the stretched tight frenulum underneath. "You're so hard for me," he breathed, and Daniel gave an incredulous laugh against his lips.

"How can I not be?" he gasped, and John felt him pulse harder in his fingers, the head of his cock leaking more arousal when John rubbed his palm over it. "Oh god, John - !"

Part of him wanted to taste it, to take Daniel in his mouth like he'd seen in the types of magazines stores kept hidden in back rooms under brown paper. He wanted to taste Daniel everywhere, use his mouth to wring more of those little desperate noises from his throat. But the rub of Daniel's fingers was increasingly distracting him from the thought of anything but how to bring them both to orgasm as soon as possible. 

_Lube_ , said the coherent corner of his mind, and since that only took a second of concentration to create John did so, slick on his fingers and around his own cock. 

Daniel gave a little startled noise, then laughed, hips stuttering up against John's palm. "Cheater."

"Just want you to be - oh - comfortable - " John panted, the only thing he could think of, and whimpered as Daniel's slicked fingers twisted around his cock in a most delectable way. "Fuck," he gasped again, clinging to all remaining willpower to keep from just fucking up desperately into his fingers. "God, Daniel - so close - "

"My love," Daniel breathed, and John claimed his mouth again, needing to taste him, to steal his breath, to engrave him on every sense. It was perfect, and in moments he was jerking up into Daniel's fingers helplessly. The wave of his pleasure crested, breaking over him, Daniel's fingers drawing the most exquisite pleasure from him as he spilled in them. "Oh god, yes," his lover groaned, triumph and relief both thick in his voice, and though John's touch had faltered, he felt Daniel rock up into his grasp and follow him into orgasm, gasping pleasure against his lips.

For a long moment John thought of nothing but that pleasure, his pulse slowing as he caught his breath. He held Daniel close, lazily nuzzling kisses to his forehead, his eyelids, breathing deep of his hair. It felt good, lazy and right to be close to him. Shifting to hold him tighter, he remembered the result of their passion and cleaned their skin and clothes of it with a thought.

Daniel nestled his face into his chest and gave a soft chuckle. "Your abilities have never been more convenient."

John smiled, moving a hand to stroke over his hair. "They could be more convenient," he offered. "I could do more here than a couch. Then we wouldn't have to go anywhere."

Daniel didn't answer, though, and as the silence stretched on John's sense of well-being quickly began to turn to awkwardness. "Or.. not...." He said finally, and against his chest, he felt Daniel let out a long breath.

He shifted, pushing himself up enough to look down on John, lifting a hand to stroke his cheek and up into his hair. His expression was distinctly worried, and John moved to mirror his touch, the desire to smooth away that worry eclipsing his own feelings of disappointment.

"Hey. I was just joking around, alright? We can head home whenever you like," John tried to reassure him.

Daniel smiled at that, giving a small shake of his head. "I do love you, John," he said, words thick with emotion in a way that removed any doubt of their truthfulness from John's mind. "The time we've spent together, watching you discover who you are... I feel like I know you enough to know that I love you. So I don't doubt what you say about your own feelings. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to... that it's still taking me so long...." he stopped with a frustrated sigh, brows knitting together.

"We can take as long as you need," John tried to reassure again, and though Daniel smiled again, it was tight, and his eyes were bright.

"I know. I've never doubted you, John. But I, myself...." he stopped, looking out across the space, quiet for a long moment. "I've tried to consider my missing past, I told you that before. It's all I've had for years, just my existence as their tool and a hundred questions I've never been able to answer. A past I could never know and a future I didn't dare dream of. I suppose what I'm trying to say is... I've spent so long feeling like I don't even know myself, that... that it's hard to know that I can be loved."

From the intense ache his words awoke in John's heart he knew that couldn't be true, and had to bite back the instinct to argue. It wasn't what he needed. "How can I help you?" he said softly instead, and watched the worry in Daniel's expression relax, his smile fond, if wistful.

Daniel leaned in to kiss him, warm and lingering. "You already have, so much. Keep being you, John. You have brought such a light into my life. And keep... keep offering yourself to me. I promise I'll try harder to allow myself to accept. I do want that future together. I've just never allowed myself to consider anything like it before. It will take some time for me to be able to trust that it - that any of this - will have any kind of permanence."

It was hard to understand, when nearly everything that John could remember had been driven by, if not thoughts of his own future, his hopes and dreams for the city. He tried to think of how he'd felt on waking, the nightmare of those endless nights being chased through the city, trying to avoid the Strangers' clutches while chasing the clues to his own identity. He tried to imagine those days continuing into weeks, years, with no end in sight. "Does it frighten you?"

"A little," Daniel admitted, and his brows knit together again. "I'm sorry." 

John shook his head, moving to press a soft kiss to his lips. "It's alright. I'll be here. Even if things never change. I still want to be here."

"Thank you," Daniel murmured, and cuddled close again, laying his head on his chest. "I appreciate that very much, John."

~~~

"I've been thinking," he said to Daniel at Frank's office the next day, "about that unused space we found last night on the top floor of that building. Do you think anyone would notice if I took it over? It's pretty conveniently located to here, and those windows are really great...."

Daniel tilted his head as he considered him, smiling. "Notice, yes, eventually. But it would be easy enough to have the space be owned by you." It had been a large point of debate during the civic elections and continued to be; how to allocate resources and wealth in a city where people's roles had been arbitrarily assigned by their former alien overlords. Fortunately, there was no shortage of living space. Daniel's smile widened slightly. "Are you considering an apartment?"

"I think so," John replied, prudently refraining from asking him if he'd ever consider living there, too. "It will take a bit of time to figure out how I want to set up the space, I might have to find some time to look at other homes. But I think I'd like to live there, at least for a bit."

Daniel nodded, glancing down, and John watched him wet his lips, hesitating a moment before looking back up at him. "I'd like to come see it again, when you've finished," he said softly, with such quiet hopefulness that John couldn't imagine that things would end up anything but wonderful.

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

Despite Daniel's uncertainties and hesitance, John was pleased to find that his lover didn't show any desire to shy away from where their relationship had progressed to, either the physicality or the affirmations. 

"Will you forgive me if I take some time tonight to go look at apartments?" John, perching against the corner of the desk in the office he'd recently furnished for him, smiled when Daniel turned in his chair to slip a hand into his. It was hard to make other plans when he and Daniel had spent very little time apart since the night of the election when he'd first kissed him. But whenever they reunited Daniel's obvious happiness made it all worth it. 

"Of course. What are your plans?"

John shrugged. "Wander about a few roofs, just take things in. Get an impression of some floor plans. Furniture."

His lover looked amused at the thought. "Don't get mistaken for a burglar."

"I will be the very picture of subtlety." John stroked his hand with his thumb. "You'll be alright on your own?"

Daniel nodded. "I do need to visit the library." That was another project; not as immediately urgent as city leadership, but just as essential to the long term survivability. The only knowledge of their lost world was spread across the city wherever the Strangers happened to leave them, and groups had formed to carefully sort through, catalog and organize them. "You'll remember to eat?"

"Er. Yes." Guiltily, John tuned a plastic wrapped sandwich onto the desk, then added another for Daniel for good measure. Pastrami, like they liked from the deli on the corner.

Daniel nodded again. Then his voice lowered. "Will you come find me afterwards to say goodnight, my love?"

John felt his pulse quicken. He hadn't been bold enough to suggest it, but would never dream of saying no. "Of course."

It had been late, and he'd been surprised to find Daniel not in the project room but among the slowly filling stacks, pouring over books and papers that he'd quickly tucked away. Daniel had sweetly suggested they explore an empty office together; John had almost forgotten to remove the couch afterwards. Guiltily, he realized much later that he hadn't asked Daniel what he was researching. He tried to make a note to do so when next they were alone the next day, but had found himself very effectively distracted by their alone-ness and the convenient privacy of Daniel's new office. 

It was increasingly hard not to be distracted when they were alone together, when he had tasted the unique joy and satisfaction that was having Daniel against him, gasping in pleasure at his hands. It was hard not to think of everything else he wanted to try, ideas gleaned from those paper-covered magazines or just imagined. Primarily, getting him out of those proper suits (as nice as it was to leave them terribly rumpled), to kiss and touch every inch of bare skin. Daniel had responded with shy positivity at John's request to go down on his knees for him, and though John was certain his efforts had been clumsy at best it had been delightful to please him with his mouth, leaving them both well satisfied in the end.

Then he'd forgotten to ask about Daniel's research entirely, throwing himself with full focus into the matter of the apartment. "I think it's finished," he told Daniel finally, days later, trying to push away his own nervousness. "The apartment, I mean. For now. I've only really used half the space right now but there's room to add more later. Perhaps a small library?" Room for you, he wanted to say, but held back, anxious and wary of asking too much.

"I'd like to see it," Daniel replied with a soft smile, standing to take his hands in his. "When will you move in?"

"Tonight? I cleaned my things out of the hotel this morning, so...." Clothes, once Tuned, could easily be created again.

"We should celebrate, then." And they'd gone for dinner and wine, which had turned to champagne, turned to warm, giddy kisses in the elevator afterwards. He didn't manage to end up showing Daniel much of the apartment, but most of his clothes ended up on the floor, and afterwards Daniel had stayed, cuddling close in John's large new bed as exhaustion took them both.

John didn't think too much about the fact that he was still wearing his soft knit cotton undershirt when they drifted off to sleep. They'd both been drunk and eager. He was still wearing one sock. He didn't think about it until he cuddled up against Daniel's back the next morning, kissing his neck and starting to undo the remaining garment only to have Daniel catch his hand and firmly pull it away.

"We have work," his lover reminded him gently, and John made a displeased noise against his skin.

He let himself smooth a hand over Daniel's hip and thigh, drinking in the sensation of bare skin and find blond hair under his palm. He stroked back up his thigh and over his stomach, lavishing a warmer kiss on the side of his neck as his fingers dipped under the hem of the offending garment. "Not yet. Please not yet. It's so good to be here with you...."

He could feel Daniel shiver in his arms, breath hitching, tilting his head with a soft groan as John began to suck at the crook of his neck. When John started to undo his undershirt again he caught hold of his hand, but it was only to guide it down to a quickly hardening erection, and John certainly wasn't going to argue about that. It wasn't until afterwards, when Daniel had slipped away into his ensuite with his clothes to shower that John thought to wonder if his lover was purposefully trying to avoid full nudity.

He pondered it, slightly perturbed, as he Tuned himself a robe and wandered into the kitchen to make coffee the old fashioned way, enjoying the smell of the brew. Had he said or done anything to make Daniel feel like he couldn't be naked with him? He'd hoped he'd been nothing but unrestrainedly enthusiastic about everything they'd done so far. His opinion of Daniel being quite easy on the eyes had only increased as his amount of clothing worn had decreased. Perhaps there was more scarring, under the undershirt where Daniel didn't want him to see? He poured himself a cup of coffee and settled at the table, laying it with a large assortment of breakfast with a thought but finding that he didn't care for any of it.

Had he done something to make Daniel think he couldn't be trusted?

"Oh, this is lovely." Daniel was fully dressed again when he entered the kitchen, the soft blonde hair John had joyfully mussed the night before neatly styled into place. "I hope you don't mind, I used some of your pomade...." He stopped, regarding John. "Is everything alright?"

John opened his mouth, then closed it again. How could he explain himself when he wasn't even sure what was going on? He stood, finally, moving to catch Daniel's hands in his own. "Will you come back here with me? I'd really like you here. It doesn't have to be permanent, but I hope it will be someday. Here, or anywhere else. I can make you anything you need, a library, a study, a bedroom if you want it. Or I can come to your apartment, I don't care, I just - I love you. I want to be with you. Do you trust me?"

Daniel watched him with wide eyes through the outpouring, then his expression softened. He let go of John's hands to stroke his arms up around his neck, pulling him in for a slow, sweet kiss. "I do," he said softly. "And I want to be with you. If you're... certain."

"Of course I am." John frowned against his mouth, wrapping his arms around his waist and feeling suddenly possessive. He moved one hand to stroke his back as Daniel nestled his forehead into the crook of his neck, feeling his lover sigh softly and worrying still. "Daniel... are you certain?"

"Yes. Forgive me, John, please don't doubt that I want... you. This." He gave a little soundless laugh. "So much."

John pressed a kiss to his hair. "Then... what's worrying you? Can you tell me?"

Daniel was silent for a long moment. "I suppose it feels rather surreal, sometimes. Like I'll wake up and still be - like everything will still be night. Sometimes I wake up in the night and have to stay awake and wait for the sunrise just to convince myself that it will happen. That fear goes away when I'm with you, but I don't want to force that responsibility on you. So I suppose I... I worry about losing this. We're so new, John. If we change as time goes on, if - if there comes a time when you don't want this - "

"We're not going to change. Not at our core. That's the point of everything we've learned, isn't it? The ego stays the same. Sure we'll grow, but if we face our challenges together we'll grow together, won't we?"

Daniel drew back, searching his gaze, and gave a small nod. "Just... promise me I can always have some kind of place in your life. No matter what might change?"

It was hard not to argue, to reassure him again that things weren't going to. He didn't even want to entertain the possibility. He knew it in his core, the same way he'd known the city needed a sun. But it wasn't what Daniel was asking for. "I promise. No matter what."

Daniel smiled, giving a small nod. "Then perhaps we can have dinner here tonight?"

"I'd really like that."

~~~

Despite their discussion, it was hard not to notice Daniel's distraction throughout the day, when John saw him. But perhaps part of that was John's own worry. More and more Daniel was being needed to return to the Psychiatric duties of the identity they'd set him up as, essential in a city where everyone had pieces of their identities to rediscover. It left John feeling somewhat unanchored; more and more he could see that there would come a time soon when Frank wouldn't need his council, especially with Leon so efficiently keeping the office organized. And he couldn't place the burden of his own sense of purpose on Daniel when there were so many who needed his skills.

"You doing alright, Murdoch?" Frank, catching him in a contemplative moment, pulled out a chair at the project room table, currently strewn with the start of the property ownership project.

John opened his mouth, then closed it again. "I'm not sure this is me," he admitted, motioning to the paperwork. "In the beginning it was necessary, and that was exciting, but...."

"But it's not particularly the best use of your skills?" Frank smirked. "I know. I won't be offended if you want to leave, John. Though I hope I can still call you in as a ringer, when... when we need those particular skills."

John nodded slowly. There was so much unused space in the city, like his own apartment had been. Surely at the end of this project it would require... fine-Tuning, as it were. "I suppose I'm just not sure what to do with my time otherwise? I feel like I need to be creating, I'm restless with it, but I can't just go rogue...."

"I assume you haven't spoken with Daniel about it."

Guiltily, John shook his head. "There's people that need him far more than I."

"Do me a favor and don't ever say that again," Frank replied, giving him a small smile to show that he was at least partly teasing. "Take care of yourself. For the city's sake as well as your own. Please? For my own peace of mind?" 

John smiled, trying to look more sure of himself than he felt. "I'll talk to Daniel."

"Good." Frank stood, moving to leave, then stopping at the door. "We could always do with an arts program, you know. We've only found seven films so far. Even you can't exactly wish new movies into existence. Maybe that's the kind of challenge you need. Oh, and we're taking the weekend off, tomorrow. You should, too. Get some rest. Things will survive."

That was certainly something to think about - not Frank's suggestion, though the idea of an arts program was definitely interesting - but the observation that he needed a challenge that Tuning couldn't fix. Was that why he was so drawn to Daniel, to the progression of their relationship? At the same time, he was starting to realize that Daniel was right, too. They were still new, like this world, and while John was still convinced that his sense of self wouldn't change with time, there were still things to discover about each other. And, possibly, themselves.

The realization that he was hesitant to ask for help was a new one. Was it a need to be independent, to figure things out himself like he'd done since he woke up at the beginning of his memories? Was he afraid of being a burden on Daniel, perhaps? He was holding back on asking for many things, he realized, not just help. Perhaps part of him felt like he hadn't earned it yet; he hadn't been particularly nice to Daniel in the beginning, after all. Perhaps he was afraid of being too demanding. Perhaps he was afraid of Daniel saying no.

"I ran into Frank...he said you wanted to talk to me?" Daniel, appearing at the door sometime later, interrupted his musing.

John gave a soft, huffed laugh. Of course Frank wouldn't leave anything to chance. He regarded his lover for a long moment, considering. "... do you have any other meetings this afternoon?"

"No? I thought we could work on the property ownership - "

John stood, nearly knocking over his chair as he pushed it back. "Let's take the rest of the afternoon off."

Daniel's eyebrows rose slightly. "Frank's already shutting down the office for the weekend...."

"Yes. Well, we can decide on that later. Let's get out of here. My place?"

"Alright." Daniel fell into step beside him, finally speaking again when they reached the street. "Is something bothering you, John?"

God, where to start? "I'm sorry I hurt you," he said finally, feeling his gut twist at the memory. If he'd only known Daniel's true intentions! But was that really an excuse?

Daniel's brows knit slightly. "Hurt me?"

"Back when... when we first met." John felt awkward, anxious trying to describe it. "During the Strangers. And in the car with Bumstead. I didn't - that's not me. I don't want that to be me."

He half expected Daniel to be upset at the reminder. Instead his lover gave a soft laugh. "Like I threatened you at gunpoint, John?"

"You were desperate."

"And you weren't?" Daniel slipped a hand into his. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said, about the core of our identities not changing. It's worrying to contemplate."

"I don't think I was right," John replied, holding his hand rather tighter than necessary just to feel anchored. "I'm sorry. There's still so much to discover, isn't there? What if I discover that I'm the type of person that you don't like?"

Daniel glanced up at him as they started up the steps to their apartment building. "Is that what you want?"

"God, no!"

"Then I hope that won't be the case." Daniel turned to face him as they stepped into the elevator. "Is this what's been worrying you, John? Frank mentioned something about needing to create...."

"No. I mean yes, I suppose that's part of it, but that's not important right now. What's important is us. I always want to be the kind of person you love, and I don't want you to feel like - like I'm asking more of you than you - want, or than I deserve, I guess? But I also want you here with me. I want you to move in with me and I want to see you naked and I know that's demanding but it's important to me."

"I see." The elevator doors opened, and Daniel stepped out without saying anything more, moving to wait in the small lobby John had created before his locked front door.

John unlocked it with a thought. "... I'm sorry. That upsets you."

"Not in the way that you're thinking," Daniel replied, glancing up at him with a small, sad smile. "I should apologize to you. I should have realized that you'd notice right away."

"Notice?"

Daniel took his hand again, starting towards John's bedroom. The large, arched windows to the outside made the place bright with sunlight as John had known they would the first night they'd come here. It was hard not to think that it made Daniel's skin golden warm and even more kissable than normal. "I'm sorry for my part," his lover said, distracting John from his thoughts. "Please believe me, John, it's not that I wanted to keep it from you. I just wasn't particularly ready to talk about it yet."

"You don't have to," John said immediately, despite it being contrary to his desires.

Daniel smiled again and shook his head, stopping at the side of his bed, taking off his glasses and tucking them away in his jacket pocket. He shrugged out of that before starting to undo his bowtie, then unbuttoning his vest and shirt. John, not quite sure what else to do, started unbuttoning his own shirt, pausing awkwardly halfway at Daniel's quizzical look.

"Did you not want me to...."

"I'll certainly never say no to you naked, John," Daniel replied, some of his worry being replaced by teasing adoration. "But I just need to show you... ah, what you asked about."

"Well, it seems unfair just to ask you to be naked." John stepped into him, pulling his hands away from his shirt and going to work on it himself. "Maybe it'll be nice to undress each other?"

Smiling, Daniel reached up to take his face in his hands, drawing him into a warm kiss. "I would feel much better being close to you," he murmured, which was all the encouragement John needed.

He prudently left Daniel's undershirt alone for the time being as he started to pull off his clothes, losing himself to kisses that quickly grew hungrier, pushing their conversation to the back of his mind. He kicked out of his own slacks and underwear, pushing Daniel's down his hips, urging him down into bed with him. In the warmth of the sunshine suddenly nothing seemed nicer than pleasing him, and John nuzzled kisses down his chest over his undershirt, kissing wetly at his stomach.

Daniel gave a soft groan, squirming under him. "I thought we were going to talk - "

"We can talk later." When presented with Daniel's cock, the choice was easy, and John took it in his mouth with an appreciative groan.

It made Daniel make the most delightful, breathless cry of pleasure, arching more underneath him. But then his fingers curled in John's hair, pulling him back insistently. "John. John, please...."

"Alright." John moved back up to lay beside him, stroking a hand up his stomach and watching him worriedly as Daniel began to unbutton his undershirt. "Would you rather tell me about it?"

"I'm afraid that part of the problem is I don't quite know what to say," Daniel replied with a sigh. He shivered a little as John ran a hand over his bared chest, teasing the skin, dragging his fingers through the patch of light chest hair.

It was normal, strong. No scarring. John peered at him in confusion. "What am I supposed to see?"

Daniel let out a long breath, then shifted, sitting up enough to shrug out of the undershirt. "These."

What he revealed was so unexpected that for a moment John couldn't quite process it. "Daniel," he said finally, wonderingly. "You have tattoos!"

"Yes," Daniel replied softly. "I have tattoos."

John reached over him to stroke his fingers over one arm, examining the blue green ink embedded into his skin. A band wound around just under his bicep that looked a bit like thorned rose vines and spiked flowers, the lines dark and solid. Above was a pair of shapes that were faded and blurred by time - some kind of decorated shield and... perhaps a plumed helmet? It took him a moment to realize that Daniel's voice had been anything but delighted, and he looked up at him worriedly. "You don't like them?"

"I..." Daniel let out a deep sigh, brows knit together. "I _should_ like them. I must have, at one time. After everything the Strangers took from me, they're... they're a clue to my past that couldn't be erased. But... I don't remember them, John. I don't know what they meant to me or why I had them tattooed, or...." He stopped, and gave his head a helpless shake.

John examined his other arm. Another band under his bicep, though this was more symmetrical, made of geometric shapes of with maze-like lines intertwined with each other. Above, running straight up his bicep, was a small sword with tassels hanging off the pommel, and above that a strange shape that looked like perhaps it was a lettered character, though it was in a language John had certainly never seen before. Impulsively, he leaned down and pressed his mouth to it, sucking lightly at it and tasting the same pleasant salty-sweetness of the rest of Daniel's skin.

Daniel gave a sharp, surprised laugh. "John!"

"Hmm?" John raised his head, grinning. "I like them," he decided. "They make you look a little bit badass."

"But I'm not!" The words burst from his lips, stricken, and finally John understood the hesitance he'd had in telling him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant to say...." John paused. He wanted to say that they didn't change his opinion of him, but was that true? It felt like there was something delightful to the secret, something deeper to his lover that he hadn't known before. But was that even true when Daniel himself remembered nothing of them? "I love you just the same," he said finally. "Whatever they mean or whatever meaning you give to them."

He felt Daniel relax somewhat against them, looking down at his own arm. "I did try and find out, once I was allowed to have time to myself. It wasn't easy to research, though. I know this is some kind of heraldic crest, but I don't know which. I thought that with all the books of the city being brought together in the library I might discover a reference, but there's nothing. And even if I do, what meaning will that give me? Some ancient name and history that has nothing to do with our life here?"

"You must have been proud of it, once."

"Was I, or were they symbols of affiliation to some unsavory organization? All I've found are references to the deviance of tattooing, a norm that the base memories - that the identities they had me make for tattooed subjects reinforces. I can tell myself that I was a scholar, that the skills the Strangers left me with speak to some kind of altruistic purpose. But what if it was nothing of the sort? What if I was a con artist, or a criminal, or incarcerated? If our ego stays the same, it means that the part of me that was once this is still this. This delinquent! John, I'm not - it's not who I want to be!"

There was something desperate and imploring in his gaze, and while John wanted to immediately reassure him, he forced himself to think. His lover, while passionate, was nonetheless a person of logic, of careful considerations and deductions. If he'd thought on this for so long and remained unpersuaded, was there even anything John could say?

"Well," he said finally, carefully, "Are you sure tattoos are only deviant?"

"John, everything I've read - "

"Forget about what you've read." Impulsively, John reached across him to claim his hand, bringing it up to press a kiss to his knuckles. "Listen. The night of the election when Frank asked Leon to dinner and you suggested it would be a date. That's deviant, isn't it? _We're_ deviant."

Immediately Daniel shook his head. "No. It was obvious how in love they were. There's nothing deviant about that. I mean, yes, on a high level it certainly isn't the norm for two men to love each other, but there's nothing - they're right together. We, John, we're right together. What I feel for you - I can't believe anything otherwise." He glanced away with a soft, huffed laugh. "You mean for me to realize that my tattoos may be the same."

"I mean... we have such a small piece of the puzzle to look at. You know that, my love. The Strangers brought us here and created a place for us where their experiments would thrive. One of them told me that directly, how they'd created here from the bits and pieces that served them. It doesn't mean that's all that there is."

"Constants and controls to measure the variables," Daniel murmured, glancing away, and John could see him turning the concept over in his mind.

"Who's to say what was left behind," John pushed. "Perhaps we feel our love is good and normal because it _is_. Perhaps in the world we left behind people fall in love regardless of gender. Perhaps people get ink in their skin because of - of things that are important to them, or people they love, or just to be beautiful. We might not ever know, and maybe that doesn't even matter. Now that the Strangers are gone it's up to us what we make of this world, that's what we've been telling everyone. Doesn't that also apply to ourselves?"

Daniel smiled, extracting his fingers from John's grasp, stroking them up into his curls. "How did you become so wise, John Murdoch?" he murmured, and John leaned into his touch.

"I learned from you," he pointed out, and Daniel gave a soft, approving hum.

"Perhaps I just needed to hear this from you, then." Daniel smoothed his hand down to stroke his jaw, then to brush his thumb along John's lips. "You really... don't hate them?"

"I couldn't hate anything that's part of you," John replied, leaning down to kiss the strange letter on his shoulder again. "You're sexy. So they're sexy."

Daniel gave a soft laugh. "Your logic is irreputable."

John gave a hum of agreement, moving to claim his mouth. He let his fingers wander up his stomach and chest, over his arm and back down again, reveling in the expanse of bare skin under his fingers. "I really like you naked," he murmured, and Daniel gave a soft whine of pleasure against his mouth, breath quickening.

"I'm so glad you do," he breathed. "I feel so... _normal_ when I'm with you, John. The way you look at me, speak to me, the way you touch me... it's been so long...."

John prudently refrained from pointing out that they'd been in bed like this the night before. It wasn't what he meant. "I love doing all those things," he said between kisses, shifting so that he could stroke Daniel's thigh with his own. "I'll do them as often as you want me to. Anything you want me to."

Daniel shifted closer, tangling their legs together, one arm snaking around his waist to pull him closer. "I very much like the sound of that." He rolled his hips against him slowly, echoing John's sigh of pleasure at the sensations it brought. "Oh... anything I want?"

It was hard to imagine not wanting anything that would bring Daniel pleasure. John stroked a hand down his back to fondle his ass, encouraging the slow grind of his hips. "Absolutely."

"Mm..." Daniel drew back, regarding him for a moment. "Will you... make love to me?"

For a moment John didn't reply, not quite certain what he meant. "Like we have been?"

Daniel glanced down, cheeks flushing pinker. "I mean... if you like... sexual intercourse."

Something about the soft, breathless way he spoke made John's cock think that was a very, very good idea. "Yes. If you'll, ah, show me what you want? I haven't exactly researched...."

Daniel glanced up at him through his eyelashes, his smile shy and inviting at once. "... I have."

John stole a kiss from his lips with a groan, then another, hungrier. "Good. Good, yes, yes. Just tell me what to do, god...."

Daniel groaned, clearly convinced, returning John's kisses with just as much hunger. "That lubricant you tuned...."

"Of course." John freed a hand and tuned some into the palm. "Where do you want...."

Wordlessly Daniel slicked his fingers, laying back and reaching between his thighs to work two up into himself with a soft, breathless moan. Immediately John understood, felt a rush of desire so strong he felt faintly dizzy with it. He slicked the lube over his own cock, then moved to stroke some around Daniel's fingers where they entered him, rubbing more firmly when Daniel gasped and arched into the touch.

"Please," his lover rasped, and so John worked a finger up alongside his, groaning at the tight heat of his body. He could hardly imagine what it would feel like to be inside him.

"Are you sure about this?" he said, and Daniel nodded, breath coming heavier.

"Yes. Oh yes. I - I'll ride you," he panted, biting his bottom lip on a groan as he arched into the penetration eagerly. "Oh god. Lay back - please - "

As Daniel moved to straddle him, the afternoon sun painting bright lines on his pale skin and the dark marks of his tattoos where it streamed through the sheers, it was hard to imagine anything more beautiful. Then Daniel was reaching back to his cock, pressing it along the crease of his ass. That felt exquisite, and John wondered how he'd never thought of it before. He stroked his hands up Daniel's thighs to knead at his ass, pushing the lush cheeks together along his shaft and rocking up against him, groaning at the slide of his cock over his skin.

Daniel gave a breathless laugh, rocking with him, voice thick with pleasure. "You like that."

"I like everything about you," John managed to reply, breathless. "But I really, really like your ass."

"Good," Daniel purred, grinding back against his cock eagerly. For a moment John thought he might mean to make him come just like that - surely that wouldn't be difficult! Then he knelt higher, guiding the head of his cock to his entrance.

For a moment there was nothing but tightness, overwhelming, surely too much! John forced enough of his attention back to focus, Tuning more lube. Then Daniel was sinking down onto him, groaning breathlessly as he impaled himself.

The caress of his body, hugging his cock as he rocked on him slowly, was more exquisite than John could have ever imagined. Before he could think his fingers were tightening on Daniel's ass, pulling him down onto him, hips arching to meet him. "Fuck," he gasped, and Daniel groaned, rocking down harder.

"Oh yes," he breathed, leaning forward to press a trembling kiss to his mouth, resting his forearms above John's head. "Oh god yes, like that..."

Like kissing, John found himself moving instinctively, falling into rhythm with the rock of Daniel's hips. "I know this," he gasped, and Daniel laughed breathlessly, joyfully against his lips.

"You certainly do," he breathed, crying out as John pulled his knees up to press deeper into him. "Oh god yes - there - more!"

Daniel's cry of pleasure sent a surge of elation through him, just as pleasurable as the sensation of pushing up into him. John repeated the motion, stealing the resulting cry with a kiss, quickly falling into rhythm with him. "You're perfect," he gasped, stroking hands up and down his back restlessly, then grabbing his ass again. "God, you feel so good around my cock...."

Daniel's only reply was a soundless, gasped laugh. He shifted against him, resting more of his weight on his forearms to rock back onto him more enthusiastically. "Yes," he managed to gasp. "Don't stop - fuck - "

The helpless expletive from his proper lover made John groan, and he rocked up harder, trying to meet the enthusiasm of Daniel's thrusts. In moments his lover was crying out unrestrainedly, their bodies finding perfect, exquisite rhythm. Whether it was the sensation of fucking up into him or Daniel's obvious pleasure, John could feel his orgasm building, seemingly stronger than ever before. Then Daniel pushed himself up, shuddering visibly as he rocked down onto his cock. He curled one hand around his own erection, eyes closed in pleasure, and with a choked cry came to climax, shuddering even tighter around John's cock as he stroked hot spurts of seed onto his chest and stomach.

John's own passion certainly didn't need anything more than that. His hips stuttered up into him as he was pulled over the precipice of orgasm, spilling inside him. His fingers clenched at Daniel's hips, holding him tight as he pushed deeper, deeper, reveling in the feel of his body hugging every inch of his cock as pleasure shuddered through him. Finally he released him with a gasp, unable to think, body thrumming pleasantly in the aftermath of passion.

Panting, Daniel leaned down to brush a kiss to his lips, then let his forehead fall to the pillow beside him. After a few moments, John gathered his consciousness enough to lift a hand to stroke over his hair and down his back slowly, wonderingly. That he'd loved Daniel before was without question, but now... something about seeing his lover so overcome, something about seeing him give himself so entirely to their lovemaking....

"You're wonderful," he whispered, turning his face to kiss his hair. "You're incredible. That...."

Daniel laughed softly, his breath a hot puff against John's neck. "Yes," he agreed. "That. And you. It... god, you're even better than I imagined."

"I'm glad you imagined," John said, nuzzling another kiss to his hair and smiling as Daniel gave a pleased hum.

For a time he said nothing more, enjoying their closeness, enjoying Daniel's weight over top of him, the warmth of his body still surrounding his softening cock. Like previous times, he cleaned the remnants of their passion with a thought, satisfied to find it much easier with them both naked. When Daniel finally moved, stretching and laying down against his side John turned into him, finding his mouth for a kiss, not wanting the closeness to end.

Daniel smiled, moving a hand to stroke through his curls, searching his gaze. "I... know what one means."

"One... oh! Yeah?" John shifted back to try and look at both his arms.

"Intellectually, I mean," Daniel said quickly. "I don't know emotionally what it means, I don't know why I chose it, but..." He made a nod towards one shoulder. "The character. Once I discovered what language it was, I added the memory of that language to one of the experiments and found them to ask them...."

He seemed hesitant, so John kissed him again. "May I ask what it means, my love?"

Daniel gave a small nod, drawing a slow breath. "It means... Strength."

 _Strength._ John found himself smiling, moving to press his lips to the inked skin. He thought of everything he knew of Daniel, from the first time he heard his voice, frightened but determined, warning him of danger. All that Daniel had survived at the Strangers' hands up until that point. Everything else they'd experienced during that unending night. He thought of how Daniel, in the end, had saved him. Saved all of them. "I couldn't think of anything more appropriate," he murmured.

"But I don't know why - " Daniel started, and John kissed him again.

"That doesn't matter. It only matters that it's true. So true, my love. Whether you chose it to represent you, encourage you, or for some other reason... you're the strongest person I know."

Daniel gave a choked gasp against his mouth, perhaps a sob, but then he was kissing him back, hard and trembling. "Thank you," he whispered. "I love you, John Murdoch."

"I love you more than anything," John replied, cuddling him close. "My strong, beautiful love."

For a long moment there was nothing but that, the joy of each other's presence, their closeness. Daniel relaxing again in his arms, fingers stroking sweetly over his hair, down the back of his neck. "I think I may have been wrong about something," he said softly, finally, and John made a little questioning noise from where he'd pressed his face to Daniel's hair.

Daniel drew back, a little smile playing about his mouth. He bit his bottom lip as he moved a hand to stroke slowly over John's chest, gaze following his fingers. "About tattoos, and being... deviant. I find my thoughts increasingly returning to making love with you again," he murmured, soft and husky. "Is that deviant of me?"

"If it is, then we're both the best kind of deviant," John replied, grinning as he kissed him again.

~~~

"Do they still exist?"

"Hmm?" Daniel, savoring a cup of tea after breakfast the next morning, turned his gaze back to John. "Who?"

"The person you gave that language to. Does that language still exist?"

Daniel leaned back in his chair, eyes unfocusing slightly behind his glasses as he thought. "Yes, I think so," he said finally. "A few households in one part of town are currently bilingual." He tilted his head slightly, regarding him. "Why?"

"I want one," John replied, feeling a rush of certainty and excitement as the words left his mouth. "I want to match. The character, at least. Or a different one. What do you think?"

Daniel chuckled softly, taking a sip of his tea. "I think it's more likely that no-one here has the knowledge or tools to tattoo," he pointed out.

"That doesn't matter. I'm sure I can figure that out. What do you think?"

Daniel set down his teacup, leaning closer to tug the neck of John's robe open to bare his arm. He stroked his fingers over the spot the character of Strength was on his own skin with a contemplative hum, then leaned in to press a kiss to it before looking back and John.

"Light," he said softly, but with certainty. "For the brightness within you. The light of my world."

John smiled, heart aching with happiness at his words. "Perfect."

~ FINISH ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I rabbit-holed far too long over trying to figure out when Kiefer covered up the cheesy barbed-wire armband with the Scottish thistle (I got as far as sometime between "Eye for an Eye" in 1996 and season 3 of "24" in 2003) and made an executive decision for the sake of Daniel's sanity. If I'm wrong, well... #fanfiction!


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